This little four-letter word has always been a source of joy to humanity; it is one of the precious things that makes us human. There are many kinds: the love of a mother for her child, the love between friends, one's love for fellow beings, the love between lovers, or love at first sight. It can be a hard thing to define. We often wonder if what we are feeling can be defined as love. It is a happy way to occupy time and to fill the heart.

Unfortunately, love also seems to separate us, drive us apart, and make us do unkind things. Sometimes, people want to force others to live by their own definition of love.

Some people seem to have a sadly narrow definition of love. I have heard many people speak out violently and cruelly against others who do not share their vision of what love ought to be.

Some people keep crying out in the name of their own personal spirituality, distraught at having to live among people who would choose a different idea. This behaviour reveals a tragic absence of love.

Many people hold marriage as the epitome of love, but sometimes that definition is stretched, as in the case of two same-sex couples who wed in a Toronto church January 14.

Definitions of what marriage "should" be vary, but many simply believe it is a public demonstration of a spiritual and emotional bond between two people.

In St. Albert, the role of sex in marriage has recently been the subject of argument, through debate spurred by a Gazette article on swingers having extramarital relations.

Some view that role to be decided by the two adults involved in the marriage. Some view it as secondary to the role of spiritual love. Others claim that if sex does not adhere to a certain code, then the relationship is not a union, essentially defining marriage by sex.

In the last year, letters to The Gazette in response to an article printed about swingers have been vehement in their condemnation of people who decide to try that lifestyle.

It's distressing that adult couples should not be free from criticism to decide the nature of their own personal relationships.

People have also expressed to me a belief that we should not be free to choose who we love. They ridicule those who would choose to love someone that they themselves would not choose.

I myself have been the erroneous target of anti-gay verbal attacks and I hear homophobic rhetoric from St. Albertans and others in everyday conversation at cafes, bars, concerts, parties, school, and even in the workplace.

The many centuries of humans loving those of the same gender makes those who would try to intervene look comical. The violence they use and the sadness they cause is not comical.

Over and over, as each Valentine's day comes and goes, people demonstrate an unwillingness to accept the freedom that is inherent in Canada. In this country, adults are entitled to be homosexual and married adults are permitted to explore other avenues of sexuality together.